Things You Can Do
Food is love.
When taking food to your friend (and to the family too), ask what he/she would like and can eat. Use a dish that does not need to be returned. Try to help out more than once as treatment lasts months. Enlist the help of neighbors and friends in the process.
Give someone a break.
If you know someone caring for a loved one with cancer, take over her duties for an afternoon to give her a chance to do whatever she wants to do. If you are that caregiver, give yourself adequate time off. Leave any guilt you might have behind and have a good time.
Keep your friendship a two-way street.
Although you will no doubt spend time listening to your friend, talking about your own life (both good and bad) will allow your friend to feel needed and to contribute something in return. Patients often feel some relief when they can think about someone else’s issues for a little while.
Let yourself take a step back.
Cancer can seem to take over every aspect of life. So there may be some days when you or your loved one may not wish to talk about it. That’s OK. Give your loved one that space. Allow yourself to take a breath.
Make trips fun.
Combine a required trip to the physician or therapist with a fun activity. Make arrangements to go out to lunch, stroll a mall, see a movie, take a ride or do whatever he or she would like to do.
Show affection whenever you can.
People who are sick rarely get enough hugs. Cancer is not contagious. Greeting cards, postcards, and humorous emails are another way to express your love. Avoid “Get Well Soon” messages unless that is the case for sure.
Use the same language as your friend uses.
If he or she says cancer, you can say cancer. If he or she says tumor or malignancy, use those words. Expect different emotions during the course of treatment: fear, anger, sadness, denial.